It's an unlikely fetish

...but it's my own: I love to have my anus penetrated and moderately distended in accompaniment to a large enema.

Where enemas got their reputation for being unpleasant, I'll never know. Perhaps it was because our mothers sometimes inflicted them on us as children, when we had no idea what was coming. But I find a two quart warm-water enema, delivered through a properly shaped retention nozzle, to be among life's finer pleasures, from beginning to end.

Filling up and cleaning out in this fashion isn't exactly sex, but it isn't exactly not sex, either. It has some commonalities with sex -- stimulation of an erogenous zone, the body's surrender to being penetrated, and ultimately, a certain sense of release -- but it's a solo activity, it doesn't involve the genitals, and it requires a carefully cultivated calm, rather than excitement, to bring it to a satisfactory conclusion.

The key is this: you must retain the enema for quite a time.

If you simply fill up, immediately sit on the pot, and force it all out, you'll miss the all the good parts. For one thing, it will hardly have any cleansing effect. You have to retain an enema for five to ten minutes, allowing it to pervade your bowel and allowing your bowel to slosh it about by peristalsis, to get significantly cleansed. For another, a good part of the pleasure comes from lying there with a fat, smooth intruder in your ass, just enjoying the feeling of penetration. For a third, if you can master your breathing and your heart rate sufficiently to keep two quarts of water bottled up inside you for eight to ten minutes without suffering painful cramps, you get the real payoff: a sense of oceanic fullness and peace. It's so soothing that it's all but impossible to convey in words. Despite the delightful feeling of cleanliness it brings, you regret having it come to an end.

I administer an enema to myself about three times per week. I've been getting excellent results from it for years: colonic health well above average, unusually well balanced blood chemistry, effortless weight control -- I'm 31, 5'1" and weigh only 98 pounds, yet I eat whatever I please -- a complete absence of flatulence or other digestive troubles, and the pleasure and refreshment I've already described.

The proper place for an enema is the bathroom. Some prescribe a bedroom setting, but it's too prone to messy accidents, especially if you're inexperienced. Rather, spread towels, or a small exercise mat if you have one, on the bathroom floor. Bring a pillow for your head. Trust me, you'd rather not do this in the tub.

Make sure you have good equipment: a heavy-duty two-quart bag with a syringe-stopper, a hook that will support its weight, at least five feet of matched vinyl tubing with a positive-action clamp, and a good retention nozzle. Healthy and Active can provide you with all of these; I recommend the 1.5 inch smooth-taper nozzle. You should also bring a book or a magazine.

You should try to move your bowels before your enema. If you're already "ready to go," go! If you're "full" but badly constipated and can't go, seek medical help; it's a condition you shouldn't try to treat by yourself. After you've gone, or if you have no need to go, you can begin your enema.

The most usual place from which to hang an enema bag is a towel bar. Don't worry about the weight; the typical towel bar can support far more than the approximately five pounds of a full two-quart enema. Push the towels aside and position your hook so that the tube won't have to stretch or contort to reach you where you plan to lie.

Fill the bag with warm water, close to body temperature. Cold water causes intense cramps, and hot water can damage your colon. When the water feels slightly warm against your skin, it's about right. Check that the clamp is in the closed position, attach the syringe-stopper to the bag, slide one end of the tube over the syringe-stopper, and hang the bag from the hook.

Slide the other end of the tube over the flange at the end of your nozzle. Make sure the grip is firm; a lot of messy accidents result from having the tube detach by surprise in mid-enema. Point the nozzle into your tub or toilet and open the clamp long enough to let a little water flow through it; you don't want any air trapped in the tube when you begin.

Carefully lubricate your anus. K-Y jelly is adequate for this; the exotic lubricants sold by sex toy vendors are merely more expensive. Dab some lubricant on the nozzle as well, with special attention to its widest points.

Squat and bring the tip of the nozzle to your anus. Believe it or not, this is usually the hardest part of the procedure, since you can't see what you're doing. Don't use any pressure until you feel the tip nestle in the outer opening. At that point you can start to press the nozzle gently against the sphincter.

The proper insertion of a retention nozzle takes some time. You don't want to violate your sphincter with a quick thrust; it hurts, and can have long-term consequences for your health. Instead, press the nozzle with a gentle rhythm, gradually teasing the sphincter open, while you push slightly as if you were on the toilet trying to expel. If you're properly lubricated, after thirty to sixty seconds of this you'll feel your anus expand sufficiently to push the nozzle "all the way home." You'll know it's properly seated when the sense of distension diminishes to a comfortable "presence."

There are many positions in which to take an enema. The one I recommend is the "Sims position:" lying on your left side, with your left arm stretched overhead and your right leg drawn up toward your chest. Or you might lie flat on your back with your legs in a knee-flexed extended position, or you might kneel with your forehead to the floor and your arms drawn to your chest. Though the Sims position seems to give the best cleaning-out, what matters most is your degree of comfort.

Once you're in position, establish a slow, moderately deep breathing rhythm: about one inhale-exhale every four or five seconds. Open the clamp. If you have a watch, note the time.

It takes from two to three minutes for a two-quart enema to drain into a healthy colon. If you disregarded my earlier advice to move your bowels first, it might take you longer. If you're really full, the flow might not start! Nozzles can become plugged, just like any other flow-through device.

It's normal to feel some cramping. Cramping is caused by the pressure waves the enema sets up in whatever amount of air is in your bowel. It can usually be relieved by fingertip massage of the belly. Poke around gently and see what works.

The bag will deflate steadily, and presently will collapse flat. Close the clamp and note the time again at that point. If you're a beginner, aim to hold the enema for five minues. If you're experienced, aim for ten minutes, but be satisfied with eight if necessary. Remember your breathing rhythm.

Before long, you'll enter a state of dreamy contentment, where the fullness in your belly seems quite natural. The water within you will be sloshing gently in response to your breathing and your internal rhythms, which will attune to one another through the magic of your natural bodily processes. A drop or two might leak past the nozzle, but you'll find that it won't trouble you. You'll feel too good to worry about such things. You'll be happy, pleasantly full, and at peace.

If you've done it properly, haven't exceeded your capacity, and have properly regulated your breathing, you'll make your time target easily. Get carefully to your feet, spread them wide, and palpate your belly from the pelvic girdle upward for about thirty seconds. Enjoy the way you look in the mirror, too; it's a strangely pleasant sight.

With the seat in the upright position, move over the toilet, squat down as low as you can over it, and remove the nozzle from your anus. A bit of effort will be involved -- it's shaped to stay inside you, after all -- and some water will come with it. Put the nozzle in the sink or the tub, whichever is closest, lower the toilet seat, note the time again, and prepare to enjoy the evacuation phase.

You mustn't strain to force the water out. It's still at work, loosening and softening the matter caked to the walls of your colon, which you want it to bring with it. Let evacuation happen at its own pace. Enjoy the reading material you brought with you.

It's normal at this point to have a runny nose and to sneeze several times. Evacuating an enema is a cooling process, much like perspiring except at a higher rate. Your sinuses will automatically swell up to warm the air entering your lungs. Just blow your nose, read, and let your body do what comes naturally.

If you're new to enemas, you'll be amazed at the amount of matter it will dislodge. Flush every ten minutes or so to keep the odor from building up, and to prevent the possibility of a plumbing clog.

After about thirty minutes, you'll have drained off about ninety-five percent of the water you accepted into your bowel. The rest will have been absorbed into your renal system, to be disposed of through your bladder. You'll be cleaner inside than ever before, and you'll feel that way as well.

Some persons take their enemas in pairs, to assure themselves that they're completely empty. I find this to be unnecessary. Also, the second of the two won't be as pleasurable as the first.

Wash your equipment carefully with soap and hot water. It's possible to give yourself a septic disease from your own wastes, as unlikely as that may sound.

When your cleanup is complete and your equipment has been put away, put on something light and silky, perhaps a caftan, pour yourself a glass of wine, and relax. You're unlikely to feel hungry, no matter how long ago you last ate, which is why enemas help with weight control. If you do feel like eating, eat very lightly; you've just distended your alimentary canal, after which it deserves a chance to rest.

Family or visitors might ask you about your gentle smile of contentment. You don't have to tell them a thing. Anyway, some satisfactions are the greater when they're kept to oneself.

With love,
Fetiche